Practical Grammar

Please do not drop your weights and return them when done.

Okay, do you see what is wrong here? Please do not drop your weights AND return them when done.

We know what they are trying to say. But they aren’t saying it. They want you to not drop your weights. They also want you to return them to the rack when you are done. As worded, one is a condition of the other. You can drop your weights, but if you do, you cannot return them when you are done. Or conversely, you can return your weights when you are done, but only if you have not dropped them. How do we save this?

Please do not drop your weights. Please return them when you are done. You could say that commas can save the day but not really. Two separate thoughts. Two sentences cannot fail you.

The other example is from the wet section of the gym. And it is a commonly available placard.

All persons with diarrhea shall not be allowed to enter the pool.

Here’s the thing - that is a great instruction for a lifeguard or a staff member. But there is no lifeguard on staff. It doesn’t say you can’t enter the pool if you have diarrhea, it just says that somebody must disallow you. Again, how do we fix this?

All persons with diarrhea shall not enter the pool.

We’re done. It covers all of the bases.